Grace (who kindly gave her permission to reprint this letter) had a
take-down (reversal surgery) of her gastric bypass in summer 2012 after
suffering a lot of pain, illness, and more, but what she had gone
through still hurt her psychologically. In this gripping article, she
gave us a feel for the pain which patients can suffer when they do not
get informed consent - pain which can traumatize for years..... (In
memory of Grace who passed away at the age of 49 in early 2015.)
Ok not so much venting as HOT SEETHING ANGER that starts in
my chest, works its way up to my neck and I SWEAR sometimes I
see the cartoon steam coming out of my ears.
A couple of
years ago I was in the quite benign position of watching
television. And who should show up, right there in my family
room? My WL surgeon touting the benefits of his diet aid. I
watched in shock and then with the magic of TVO I could rewind
to make sure it was HIM. The man who knowingly let me slip into
a physical and mental disability.
White hot rage. An
emotion I had NO idea dwelt within me. The last time I came to
being slightly close to that kind of anger was at 13 when I
faced my mother in court, her in a wheelchair act, trying to
show the judge there was NO WAY she had the ability to beat me,
to inflict those marks that a very nice police officer took
pictures of as evidence.
Anyway! ok so now I've seen that
commercial more times than I can count and each time it gets
easier and easier.
Today I was shredding some old bills
and the like. I came across some medical records while shredding
and there, in black and white is a sentence that injected so
much anger into me. Actually there were a couple of sentences
that paved the anger trail.
First sentence. "The patient
was admitted and underwent an uneventful laparoscopic Roux-n-Y
gastric bypass procedure..."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I had an
acute adrenaline failure! My blood Cortisol was 0.8 when it
should have been 20.0 minimum. While in recovery I woke up to a
flurry of activity and noted that my BP was 42/17!!!!!!
Uneventful???? Then I woke up in the ICU after being in recovery
for 5 hours and I couldn't see straight, my whole world was
spinning! I was in the worst pain I had ever experienced
INCLUDING all three of my c-sections at which time I was given
the drug Pitocin AFTER surgery to enable my uterus to contract
and shrink down while a nurse came in to knead my abdomen. While
in ICU the IV fluids flushed thru my neck at full speed in an
attempt to keep my blood pressure up AND I was dry heaving!
UNEVENTFUL?????????????????
Then another sentence that
had my head spinning was in reference to my 4th day in the
hospital "She was feeling quite well" ARE YOU FRICKIN KIDDING
ME??????????????? While others who had the surgery walked the
halls like a good post op patient should, I was using this
standing walker thingie. I leaned against it with my arm and
upper body and couldn't walk a straight line because I was that
dizzy. Tears freely streamed from my eyes because of the immense
pain I was in. FEELING QUITE WELL? REALLY?
Another record
from the first time I filed for disability outlined some my
diagnoses, abdominal pain, organic brain dysfunction, vertigo,
dysphasia, malaise and fatigue. *that* was just the beginning.
Most days are good. Most days are not tainted with negative
emotions. But sometimes all it takes is to read a few sentences
of medical records and yes *some* days when I see the commercial
with my surgeon in it I want to bash the TV screen in.
The injustice of the whole situation is maddening and not *just*
my situation.
Often I read posts about women suffering from
all the familiar ailments. What is absolutely maddening is the
dysfunctional relationship people have with surgery. I read a
list of issues and then that same person, in that same post
talks about how happy they are that they had the surgery!
REALLY??? REALLY???? It reminds me of when you hear about an
abusive relationship and how the person being abused makes
excuses for the abuser. 'Yeah I know he hits me but he's under a
lot of stress' 'yeah I know the surgery is causing all these
problems but I am so happy I had it' then I hear about people
having revisions which in the end make a reversal that much more
difficult.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Recently I got an email from a man who was sitting in the
hospital next to his wife's bed. My post was the first place he
came across that was related to what was going on with his wife.
In the end of his email he rehtorically asked 'can it get any
worse'. It pained me to respond with "yes, it can". He talked
about how the weight loss surgeon continued to resist the
relationship with her failing health to her weight loss surgery.
this absolutely kills me. even tho I know it happens ALL the
time it still kills me.
At the end of his second email he
told me how his wife had a hopeful smile at hearing there may
actually be an answer to the many mysterious ailments. that she
had to suffer at all and that it took a random search to come
across some of the first answers from my post is horrible and
the intense injustice of it all continues to wound me.
Grace |
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